So, you want to masturbate?
Image: Unsplash
Masturbation is not defined by one singular act, nor is it limited to a pre-defined set of activities. Instead, what matters the most is what works for you. And this looks different for everyone. It could be a cluster of small physical activities you do to yourself using aids like your own hands, clamps, toys, massagers, vibrators etc. But, just like there is no right or wrong age to understand your body better, there is no one way to pleasure yourself. If you are looking for an explainer on self-gratification and seek to understand your body and how to pleasure yourself with massagers, toys, lubes and other tools offered by sexual wellness industries, look no further.
Sexual wellness companies worldwide today are taking pride in putting the ownership of your pleasure in your hands directly. From independently owned and operated womxn run start-ups to corporate beauty and health organizations, most organizations are adding to the wealth of wellness products for individuals with vaginas and their partners. However, if you are relatively new to the subject and want to understand how to go about masturbation, understanding your body and what works for you is the first step.
It's crucial to make yourself at ease before starting and ensure you're in a discreet space for your comfort. Once you are comfortable, you can start with streaming your preferred media— it could be an erotica recited on audio or a choice of video or even reading the good ole fan-fic; whatever your preference, you need to set a mood to get yourself excited or titillated enough to want to explore your body. Many people use an old memory and revisit their previous encounters of orgasm and pleasures to experience the urge to want to explore themselves, and some even resort to the imagination. Once you are fairly comfortable with your body and understand what works for you, this process is often carried out without much thought while gently touching yourself. You can stimulate the breasts and/or nipples with light touches and pinches to add to the experience.
For folks who have a vagina, when you feel excited enough and/or are experiencing wetness in the vagina, this is usually an excellent cue to try different strokes. You can alter the motion while fingering yourself or start slow and build your pace to an escalating finger movement. If you are using an external aid, you can try using your fingers alternative alongside to enhance the pleasure and tinker with the settings on your device for maximum pleasure.
There is a lot that one can try, especially with the help of wellness aids in the market and your preference for using them to pleasure yourself; however, not without starting with the basics.
There is no shame in pleasuring yourself: This should be explicitly mentioned at the onset for those who are curious to learn about their body and explore their pleasure points. There are a lot of myths associated with masturbation for both- persons with vaginas and penises, and it's good to disregard any advice that stems from the notion of shame, guilt and pressure along the lines of, "this is a joy reserved for you and your sexual partner when you're married." Marriages, religious and societal pressure does not affect your need to pleasure yourself and neither does this affect your health. It's completely safe and risk-free to indulge in masturbation if you're carrying out ideal hygiene practices while conducting your business. This is a wholly safe activity meant for you to understand your body and pleasure yourself at your convenience. Let nobody tell you otherwise on the subject.
Basic hygiene practices go a long way: Have you clipped your long nails before using your fingers for clitoral stimulation? Have you washed and sanitized your wellness aids, including vibrators, toys and clamps? You need to maintain basic hygiene before and after you go about self-pleasuring. Washing hands before and after is the bare minimum to start with. If you reach the point of using toys and wellness aids, do consider washing them as per the instructions with the device before and after usage, and remember to remove the batteries before you do that. If you find yourself in a situation of mutual masturbation with your partner, you should encourage sanitizing the toys for the individuals involved.
Toys, wellness aids and other devices are all stepping stones to your comfort: If you have never tried touching yourself and discovering your body, it is highly suggested you try doing that in a safe and comfortable private space sans any disturbance. Once you have found your groove as to your preferences and how you would like to go about it, you can consider introducing external aids, including lubes, vibrators, massagers, and toys. There is no hard and fast rule to using these external aids to please yourself, but they add to heightening the experience, especially if you have only ever used hands previously.
Investing in your first vibrator can be daunting but start somewhere: Wellness industry is saturated with a variety of products, and it's confusing if you're just starting out. We recommend trying aids that focus on clitoral stimulation for an unparalleled experience that is fool-proof by design. You can pick from Thaen Pot's collection of wellness products designed for a wholesome experience focusing on clitoral stimulation, whether you're a newbie or a veteran at using external aids to enhance your experience. Other indie brands as well as big names including Indigo and Sephora, are also deep diving into making wellness products and entering the market with their innovations to destigmatize the practise of pleasuring yourself by making sure there is enough information about the product online as well as with the salespeople in the store for you to understand the market better.
Your comfort through all this rests on how stress-free the experience is. If you're experiencing emotional trauma or turmoil, masturbation often becomes difficult and orgasms hard to achieve by yourself. Your usual tactics and strategies may also not work in the wake of a personal situation affecting your mental well-being. As much as self-gratification is about the experience of pleasing yourself and understanding yourself better, the focus has to be on an enjoyable experience that doesn't stem from stress. Making yourself comfortable is the key to enjoying self-pleasure.
