Pleasure Wardrobe
Image: Unsplash
The book Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown, interviews Maori Karmael Holmes, a curator, filmmaker, designer, and cultural worker, on the politics of feeling good and the clothes we wear. The chapter, titled “On The Pleasures of Wardrobe” inspired various thoughts and conversations with folks in my own life. The chapter detailed the importance of reassessing the relationship we have with our clothes, especially how they make us feel. Speaking of Marie Kondo, Karmael Holmes iterated, “I think folks are beginning to acknowledge this concept of inanimate objects and our spiritual relationship to them, but it is something I have been thinking about for quite some time.” Our spiritual relationship to inanimate objects, such as clothing, plays an integral role in our experiences of pleasure and intimacy. Furthermore, the wardrobe we choose reveals how we choose to express ourselves in our interactions with others.
“I put a lot of effort into my lingerie and feeling good before and during sex. I don’t put it on for my partner because sometimes I don’t think they really appreciate it as much as I do. But I think that it does make me feel confident and it’s something that I often rely on as a part of my intimate and sexual experiences,” said Abi*, explaining the role lingerie has during intimacy. Unfortunately, while lingerie may impact how you feel, the lack of inclusivity in the lingerie and underwear department results in continuous discrimination against fat folks.
“Our spiritual relationship to inanimate objects, such as clothing, plays an integral role in our experiences of pleasure and intimacy. Furthermore, the wardrobe we choose reveals how we choose to express ourselves in our interactions with others.”
On social media, creators, such as body acceptance advocate and storyteller @bryntaponn (TikTok), constantly reminds us of the ups and downs in our relationship with our clothing and further our bodies. TikTok trends that reiterate the fact that clothing should fit us and not the other way around have been an important and revolutionary way to view the role of clothing in our lives. If it doesn’t make us feel good, why wear it?
For Pugzhal their relationship with clothing is intrinsically tied to the lack of comfortable bras available for bigger chested folks. “Having a bigger bust is exhausting. The amount of time and energy spent on finding the best bra for a specific outfit can be used on more productive activities. On top of that, going outside with an outfit that doesn’t make you feel comfortable can trigger so much anxiety to the point where you need to change immediately. At times I wish that I can slice my boobs off like Kannagi and throw it away,” explained Pugzhal.
Holmes stressed that “wardrobes should consist of things that we absolutely LOVE.” This goes for what we wear when we leave our homes and comfort when we’re at home. “I definitely think that I feel a lot more confident when I leave the house in clothes that express my personality in certain ways. I was able to explore this side more during the pandemic. Going to the grocery store was always far more exciting than it used to be. Clothes, in a sense, made me slow down and romanticize my life in ways that I didn’t before,” said Jenny regarding clothing she loves.
Our relationship with clothing will continue to evolve as we grow and explore a different part of ourselves that we have yet to come across. In the meantime, Holmes’ words encourage us to think closely about the connection we have with clothes, how they make us feel and ask whether we should keep or put them away.
